SEASONS OF LIFE

Starting a family?

2011-03-23T02:46:00.000-07:00

Randomly I came across of a nice snippet between a mother and daughter, I am not sure about the author of this, however i really enjoyed reading it. I could relate to every single line penned there. It is an awesome write- up. This left my eyes wet. I have heard these words from my mother and many of my friends.

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma.

That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who
never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret
it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

SEASONS OF LIFE: And we twist

2011-03-21T00:30:00.001-07:00

SEASONS OF LIFE: And we twist

2011-03-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

SEASONS OF LIFE: And we twist

And we twist

2011-03-21T00:24:00.000-07:00

My daughter's day-care facility (which also runs a pre-school) was having their Annual day and her teacher casually mentioned that parents are also welcome to dance. Without a second thought, I volunteered as I was under the genuine impression that it would be an impromptu session of shaking our body to some random music numbers at the end of the show. However, a week before the scheduled day, I was asked to come for "Practice". I immediately retorted “WHAT PRACTICE??”. The teachers pounced on me and, in a chorus, screamed out: “What do you mean by what practice?”. That was all needed to see stars in the day,

It was only then I realised that my views about this dance item for parents was not just moving/shaking to some music but was going to be a co-ordinated, choreographed dance show with a partner, costume et al. Then I sublimely realized: I just put my foot into my mouth.”

The usual thoughts then raced through my mind - Should I back out? Will I make a fool out of myself especially since I had never publicly danced? I could hear a loud YES from within. BUT, then wait a minute, why should I back out? I love to dance OK, I admit I am not sure if I can actually dance - but I love music and I love to move myself to the music. Was that not a good reason to go ahead?

After a long argument with myself and SOS calls to my husband, I decided to take the plunge. I met up with three other sweet mommies. YES, I realised that out of the 50 odd mothers associated with the institution, it was only four of us who had volunteered to dance. We shared a common bond - we all loved dancing and we all wanted to do it for our little ones. We ladies hit it off instantly

We practiced hard (not really hard ), discussed life, gossiped, shopped together for costume and carried out such paraphernalia very well. As the D-day was approaching, we had butterflies in our tummies. Alka, one of the mommies was down with fever and Vijetha was tied up with family work and we stopped our practice. We wondered if we must actually proceed with the plan!!

Even before we realised, the day arrived. For some reason, Vijetha was late and without a forethought, Karishma (my partner for the day and a very pretty lady) and I started our practice to brush up our steps. Alka was busy baby-sitting Karishma's daughter.

The venue, by the way, was a school which had a decent auditorium. We started our final rehearsal in full public view (as if we had a choice. In fact, such was our resolve that we did not even mind the young school children noticing our practice which comprised giggling, laughing, curious e kids.

Vijetha arrived late. We realized that we had little choice of place to change our costumes. In fact, we were rushed into the greenroom with loads of kids inside who were waiting to perform. Most of the children were crying and poor Karishma was trying to console them. We changed in a jiffy and very coyly went down stage and sat there waiting for our turns. After two hours of long wait, it was our turn and my heart skipped a beat, but Karishma's smile was reassuring and so we all hit the floor.

The dance was over even before we realised that we were dancing. All I remember is that we groovedto the tunes of a medley of Zooby Zooby (from 3 Idiots) and Twist (from Love Aaj Kal).

Most importantly we loved the fast beats of Twist and so we had a great time. My husband and my sister in law came to cheer me. My mother in law and my mother could not make it but were very happy that I was performing on the stage.

As an afterthought, I wonder what is the outcome of this effort, I realised at the end of it that I am happy that I did something which gave me a lot of confidence - , something that my daughter will be proud of when she grows up. This was a reassurance that my family is by my side. Above all, I have earned three precious friends. We spent just a few hours with each other but we bonded really well and we shared our lives and happiness with each other. Interacting with each of them has taught me something precious. Alka's impromptu jive at any music, Karishma's Cheshire smile, Vijetha's ease in wearing a Saree on her Jeans was amazing

Each of us move around with a baggage but it is the attitude and the approach one adopts in life that makes life worth living.

(From Left to Right- Vijetha, Alka,Me & Karishma)

SEASONS OF LIFE: Gift to womenhood

2011-03-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

SEASONS OF LIFE: Gift to womenhood

Gift to womenhood

2011-03-17T22:28:00.000-07:00

I write this not because i am a unique mother, i write this as I consider my daughter to be UNIQUE. Of course every mother finds her little one to be unique. She is three years old and each day of my life with her has made me realise that she is unique in a thousand ways.

She has been and will always be the best gift of God. I rarely cry and i ensure i never shed a tear before her. But then sometimes it becomes inevitable. Even before the tears can roll down my face, my daughter's tears would have started rolling down. She just cannot bear to see me gloomy. She just comes all over me and kisses me and wipes my tears in her little palm.

That little gesture is nothing but the gesture of God. None other than my mother has ever done that too me.Never ever in my life have i stayed without my mother. I always felt like fish out of water without my mother and i still feel that way but my daughter's arrival, her kind gestures has to a large extent filled the void within me.

She is a child but she has her own way to tell me that she is by my side. She repeats my own statements and tells me why are your crying amma when i am here with you? that one statement from a three year old makes my existence more meaningful.

I never was so fond of children, i was not the one who would play with my little cousins, it was always my elder sister who donned the role of a mother for all us. But from the day i have knew i had a little peanut within me growing each day, my perspective changed. Each day has been a memorable day for me.

Those little morsel of rice which my daughter feeds me from her plate are the tastiest food i have eaten. Each day when i bathe her and dress her, she religiously tells me, amma when i grow up i will bathe and dress you too. Her talks seem to be senseless toddler babbles to others, but i know she is serious about it and she does know what she is talking. Her seriousness was exhibited once when i had an asthma attack and everyone was asleep at 11.30 PM. It was my daughter who was awake all the time, her eyes were wet but she did not want to show me that she was crying, all she keep telling me was that amma use your pump( inhaler) and you will be fine.

My heart goes out to those women who are childless and i feel bad for those women who consider it to be burdensome to have babies. Having a baby is the best gift of God. You will never what it is to have your heart outside your body till you a baby. Life is beautiful, but our children make it more meaningful. Our existence is justified when we see our children turning into beautiful human beings.

I used to wonder what makes my mother so selfless, even that last piece of sweet never tempted my mom and she would save it for my sister and me. I now know the answer.

I am sparking!!

2010-05-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

It is close to two months since i have joined this amazing community called http://www.sparkpeople.com/, trust me this is one of the most amazing websites i have come across.. this is a a great motivator for me. This is an online help community that helps its members live a healthy life with a healthy weight.. the amount of information available is beyond description.

There is abundant help in the form of online friends, communities to suit our interest.. the sucess stories and motivational blogs are just great.. it is the first time in my life that i am still so focused.. i get advise from people whom i may never met in my life.. but these are the kinda of people whom we can related to instantly.. who are compassionate about what i am going thru. my friends on spark are so helpful. i have come across people from all walks of life on spark and the help in terms of calorie watch, weight log in sheets, amazing receipes and great exercise tips are something that nobody else can help you with..

For me spark is not just another website, it has played such an important role in my life that it is my secret buddy now.. i am glad i came across this website at the right time.. now that is what i call as destiny..

Dedicated to my Mother

2010-05-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

I am mother of a toddler and i must be honest in admitting that i am very very possessive about her.. i am soo damn particular about her and her things this includes small things like her toys to what she eats and what she wears how her hair is made and which clip she wears. So the bottom line is that i won't compromise on how she looks she means the world to me and like all mothers i want her to look her best!

whats wrong ??

Nothing!! absolutely justified right, she is my creation and i am completely justified

So now taking that thought further and turning the tables i am child too for my mother, I am my mother's musing!!

Even to this day my mother dotes on me and decides what is best for me, she is my Creator, My Demi God.. love you ma

I truly believe that God made mothers because he could not be there everywhere for us!!
So will my Creator too not want to see her creation to be beautiful and not loaded with adipose??

I am sure she too has a point to make but she will never, coz she thinks that will hurt me

She is so beautiful and when she created us i was beautiful too..

So what happened why did i change the beauty or tarnish it with this flab??

Is it not betrayal to my parents, Yes I want to loose weight for myself and more so for my parents who deserve to see their creation the way they intended it to be..

So whats stopping me??

nothing ....

I am out to loose weight and look good for my creator, my friend, my Godess, my Angel, my Love, my dearest Mother

i will shortly post my mother's foto to let you know how beautiful she is, she has always been in great shape and looks awesome!

Love you mom. this one is for you!!

Battling emotions

2010-05-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

I have never been serious about weight loss. After the sixth day i have had the tendency to give up or rather to be honest i resort to cheating... cheating yes, you've heard it right.. i cheat on myself and i cheat on food and exercise... i have always to be lucky ( as i thought then) to fall ill or catch a bad cold or something of that sort, but the bottom line remained the same... i never was honest and never put in any efforts.

Probably this is the first time in my life of 30 long years i am being truthful to myself and my inner sense.. i have resolved to do the best for myself.. i have in my journey for the past two months undergone a topsy turvy emotions...

I have learnt to say no and hold back for the first few seconds before the food could disappear.. the reason i am telling this is that food has been a great source of comfort for me.. not that i was a gluton earlier.. but i was a binge eater and my binging has got me this fat..

My depressions would seek solace in rice.. the carbs would give great comfort.. i was reckless. I have successfully over come this trait of mine.. in my journey this far so many factors have played a role... weight loss blogs on net, strange people on net and most importantly SPARK252 has given me great strength to move ahead..

Even when i am on this journey waves of emotions keep slapping across my face.. i get depressed very soon. Days i am unable to make to the Gym i dwell in guilt and then i feel agitated... i feel like a failure. then there are days when i feel on top of the world after a good work out..i feel i am on the right track..

One of the many insecurities that i am facing currently is fear.. last evening i got to know that one of my close acquaintance who is just 36 has been tested positive for sugar.. she was depressed.. she is fat and her hereditary factor has played its role... she is scared ..

Courtesy Modern science life can be carried out smoothly and your sugar problem will not come in way of leading a normal life but still deep within you know that things are not the same ...

My mind suddenly shifted to another world there i was standing in the same position as this lady and was wondering the same as her. i did not stop there or rather my mind did not stop there.. i went a step ahead.. What if i get diabetes, what if i develop hyper tension what if get all the bad cholesterol deposit in all the wrong places of my body...what if i get a heart attack.. These what ifs continued till i saw a silhouette .. I went closer I could barely see any face.. so I went further close and there I could see that the person was seeing the other way and when I turned her face around.. I saw my daughter’s face . this really got the hell out of me..

It came as a rude shock to me and I am still shuddering when I write this.. the thought that these ailments may just kill me and that my daughter would be left alone did not go well with me.. I could not digest and accept the fact that someday owing to my morbidity to lose weight I might invite these aliments and that my death will leave my daughter alone shock me up thoroughly.

I asked myself what wrong has this angel done to deserve a life without her mother? Nothing so who am I to ruin her life and childhood without a mother.. I know how life is without a mother.. even at this age I am a parasite when it comes to my mother.. so why should my daughter be deprived for some stupid fault of her mothers.. what is she to do if her mother refuses to loose her weight and try hard.. what can she do to change things.. the change has to be at my end..

Last evening I have resolved that I am not going to leave any stone unturned in my journey and my quest to find myself and be happy…I have realized that there are far more graver things in life and there is so much to do and see in life in contrast to the little time we get.. life is beautiful all we need to do is spread our arms out to feel the fresh air and fly high.. higher.. God has blessed me with good health and I am going to preserve it for myself and my little daughter ..

My daughter means the world to me and she is definitely the wind beneath my wings in this journey of my life and weight loss…

Honey I love you!!

2010-05-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

There is so much on the net on what is love, true love and what not...love for me is a sweet emotion that springs from an unknow source within us. The thought of love makes us smile when nobody is around us. Love takes different forms, it is not mere attraction to the opposite sex, love can be for your mother, daughter, your friend for that matter your pet too...

One of the most intense love which each of us experience is the love our life partner.. we spend so much of our life or rather we spend our days and nights with them that they become an integral part of our lives.. the integration must be harmonious and must be a source of pure bliss and happiness.. the journey of life places odd situations before at us. Most of the times we are unprepared for it. A companion and his/her love makes that situation bearable. it is no joke that a man and woman resolve to spend their entire lives with each other and have babies, it takes more than love, it is tolerance, mutual respect, admiration, trust and faith that bonds two individual.... there is so much to give in life... unconditional love makes life beautiful... Love brings two strangers together and stay bonded for their entire life...

I bumped upon something so beautiful and appropriate on the net about love between two individuals who resolve to be life partners, love between a man and a woman, i am not sure of the source but mere reading it brought tears in my eyes, I am sure it will be the same to anybody who reads these lines...

"Know that Love is a Process, Not a Destination - Love yourself - say what you feel - ask for what you need - reveal what makes you feel loved - go easy on yourself - celebrate the exceptional - praise the ordinary - do the extraordinary ordinary thing - be a person of your word - criticize only in private - do the unexpected - behave yourself in public - shower each other with kisses - speak the love words - say please and thank you - give more gifts - ask if you can help - listen for the meaning beneath the words - walk a mile in your sweethearts shoes - put your love on a billboard - commiserate with one and other - negotiate the mundane - acknowledge the hardships your circumstances create - keep in touch - take intimate time - rekindle the romance - watch your tongue - depart and reunite with loving gestures - fight the good fight - remember the early days of your love - be willing to make generous gesture - accentuate the positive - tie up your emotional loose ends - apologize, apologize, apologize - play with one another - celebrate with ceremonies - reveal your fears - share your dreams - be generous with your body - trust one another - console one another - forgive one another - acknowledge the power of language to create reality - hold each other in the light - bow to the mystery of love

This reading has surely given me a better outlook in life, I realize I love my husband much more that what i thought and there are so many grey areas I have to work on... I know i have hurt my love several times.. sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly but there is always forgiveness in his eyes.. i guess that is what love is all about... There is so much to learn and do in life and so little time .......What say??

So my question is: Have you too realised the blunders committed by you?? Will you still stop yourself from loving and giving yourself?

My butt is hurting!!

2010-04-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's work out for the lower body seems to have a lasting effect on me, from the last evening my lower body is in pain.. i am having terrible cramps all over and it is so embarrasing but my butt is hurting me like hell!! I cannot do much about it. except for whining in pain.

I went back to gym this morning, was reluctant initially but then i told my instructor that i could not bear it anymore and was not in a position to do any exercise today.

As solace and remedy he suggested we do onlystretching execises today. It took me about 40 mins to finish them, but trust me all each and every muscle in my body seem to thank me for it.. it feels good.

I was just wondering what would be my plight had i not told Prakash( my instructor) about it The point is for starters like me, if we have a problem we need to share it with the concerned and i am sure that helps!! there is no point in hiding it from others.

SLUMP!!

2010-04-13T21:58:00.000-07:00

It is three days since i have been to the gym and i am feeling extremely guilty about it, due some health reasons i could not make it however the bunking has blessed me with good sleep. I slept for good 9 hours and it feels extremely good. whole of last week i was sleep starved, there were times when i would dose off on my desk without my knowledge.
i am not missing gym anymore. this is exactly what i told my husband today and i told him that by the end of April i will try to loose 3 kgs in toto. He gave a weird look and told me that i have gone nuts and i will never loose that kinda weight.. well now that is surely a challenge to me and i will do my best to do it..

BABY STEPS

2010-04-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

It is three weeks now and i have lost 2 kgs.. it is not great weight.. i know people have lost more.. but i am happy with the results coz i am being honest to myself .. i am not cheating on food or gyming anymore..

How it all began

2010-04-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

Losing weight has been pondering in mind for quite some time now... my daughter's birth was a good great excuse for me to pile on loads of weight close to 16 Kgs..( I was already overweight!!) i never noticed it until one of my colleagues sent a picture of mine which was taken at a training session in office three years back. That foto was a big shock to me … gawd what I have I done to myself.. Btw I was not too lean or ultra slim in that foto.. I have always be the plump sort of a gal.. but now I looked obese..or rather I am obese. No one told me about it.. Including my husband who would restrict himself to dropping polite hints like your tummy or in CAPS TUMMY is seen ..or could you wear something else?? My jack head could never get these clues…initially I was in a stage of denial it was comforting not to accept the same.

Recently my mother who is of course is in great shape gave me a wakeup call and told me that I should start doing something immediately to lose weight and took me on a tour to various obvious bulging parts of my anatomy!! It sounds embarrassing but actually with my mom around it was not.. I love her having done that to me.. thank you amma.

The event that set things in motion was my recent visit to the gynac for some health reasons, she asked me stand on the weighing scale and I was embarrassed to death. I was just hoping that the power goes off or the machine breaks… but nothing of that sort of happened and looking at my weight and a quick glance at my face she asked me if I was pregnant that for sure was not the reason. She advised several test including my hormonal levels and thyroid. Two days later I went back with the results and on seeing the results which were all fine she asked me a plain question that without any medical reason how could I afford to load on so much of fat?

Actually she was very sweet to me and she gave me very good and valuable suggestions on how to lose weight, in fact her suggestions motivated me to join the GYM.. it is called the FITNESS FORCE… and I simply love the place and my instructor who is very good and encouraging.

My sister who is seasoned in the art of loosing and gaining weight has been very helpful and is generous with tips on losing weight low cal recipes.

My in laws were supportive of this and my husband stepped in to take care of my daughter in my absence in fact he is so sweet that he drops and picks me up each day… which is not a joke because this happens at 5 AM each day including a Sunday..

This is a narration of the past as I am planning to write about it each day or at least when there are significant changes in the scale.

This journey is also like a New Year resolution to me as the gynac incident happened on UGADI. All the best to me!!

JOURNEY OF WEIGHT LOSS

2010-04-13T04:12:00.000-07:00

Reasons to loose weight

Just google for reasons to loose weight and several pages will open up giving you not just 10 reasons but THOUSANDS of reasons. For me the reasons have been slightly different and limited, I have tried to list them in no order of priority here.

1. FEEL GOOD FACTOR: who does not enjoying being thin? Thin I don’t refer to the anorexic look. Nobody enjoys carrying around tons of weight on themselves. The struggle to fit into clothes in those dingy trial rooms, eyes scanning for plus sized clothes are definitely not something anyone enjoys. Like others I too want to start wearing those clothes which at the time of shopping would attract your attention however from the corner of your eyes you could notice the sales person disapproving the same and even before you could hold that garment, he would literally pounce on you saying that’s a small size madam. It will not fit you. Did I ask you Mister?

2. LACK OF STAMINA: off late I realized that I was getting tired too often and too early. Climbing stairs would leave me panting for breath. Even if I was comfortable post climbing sympathy or you may call it empathy in the eyes of the people around would disgust me. In my head I would scream out, ”Man, I don’t need it I am fine”.

3. GOOD HEALTH: It is all over the internet that weight gain and obesity is an invitation all kinds of health problems. I don’t want to be sick, nobody does, I don’t want to be on insulin or tablets all through my life. My recent health check up showed that my Cholesterol levels both the good and the bad ones were just right and that everything from sugar to Blood pressure barring weight was normal and i was doing great!! this boosted my ego before the final consulation with the GP. But the GP poured cold water all over my ego and very bluntly told me that if i did not lose weight my results would definitely be different next year.. that triggered the urge to lose weight ( Btw this happened 10 months back.. and my journey has commenced just three weeks back.. better late than never rite?!)

Barring these three reasons I have several other reasons like all other fat people on this planet have to lose weight but in my opinion these 3 reasons should suffice for anyone of us..coz what more reasons do you need to lose weight.. wake up!!

A mother's musings!!

2009-08-13T02:52:00.000-07:00

It has been really long since i wrote something, i have been deliberating a lot over a few issues these days, and the issue topping the list is the dilemma to continue working or to sound sophisticated should i continue being a working mother!!
Obviously the question emerges from a deep rooted guilt factor, but beyond this there are several other pressing factors! I am very sure all working mothers undergo this stage of life or rather continue to lead their lives with this baggage... now I realize how my mother must have felt when she was working.
Most of us don’t fancy working at the cost of our little one’s childhood, but sometimes working is inevitable, money matters honey!! Nothing comes free in this world and with the given cost of living it is invariable for both the parents to work to provide if not a luxurious life but a comfortable life for their children. It is not just money but there are several other factors making it inevitable for the mother’s to work.
Right from the day one, when one realizes that there is a little life within them... the question to continue to work stares at them. But the hard reality slaps only after the little one has arrived. Living behind a little one in the care of other’s is nothing but a night mare. The caretaker may be a stranger or your own mother but the solace of being there for your little one is beyond comprehension. The language of a baby is best known to its mother and none other.
As children grow they are more demanding and on the threshold though we may brush it aside as a mere tantrum we do realize deep within that they are reasonable. Kids need attention from none other than their mothers. We too understand this but do we do justice to this?
There are good days and bad days. Days when the kid is not sick but it is just not okay.. now that sounds confusing right? That’s exactly what others tell.. but only we mothers understand what that means? There are occasions when the kiddo just refuses to get off your lap and just wants to be comforted. But the clock is ticking and you are getting late to the office!! For others it is easy to advise to put the kid on the floor and move on, but only the mother and the child know the pain of separation.
I used to wonder why my friends at office whined at leaving their little ones at home and now after becoming a mother I feel the pain and see the reasons for all that whining. Rather i whine the most. Now my daughter is a toddler and she very well understands that I am out to office for good 8-9 hours in the day. The resultant of my absence is severe separation anxiety that my daughter is suffering from currently. The moment I go home our reunion is dramatic with hugs and kisses and I turn into a kangaroo as I need to carry her all the time for the next 6-7 hours till she goes to bed. She even refuses to stand on her own. She gets violent towards all others at home. She does not fancy other's affection anymore. Her behaviour may sound comical but her behavior is justified. Others find it funny but I know the truth, so do all mothers. I used to do the same to my mother. Wondered how she managed with me?
The urge to give the best to your kids needs to be satisfied in the next 6-7 hours. At the same time are house hold chores staring at us. I wondered how my mother multitasked... now I know the secret. The mere pleasure of holding your little one, being with her, looking that serene look on her face gives us all the courage and energy to do things quickly.
Kids of working mothers too turn mature quickly; they understand our shortcomings and are definitely more co-operating than other children. Though I know that I spend quality time with my darling daughter but my love for her is insatiable and my urge to spend more and more time with her grows by leaps and bounds.

Somewhere deep within i must admit that i envy all the stay at home mothers!! cheers to you ladies for being blessed! At the same time Kuddos to all we working mommies too.. for managing the tight rope walk .. with grace of course!!

A for adjustment & C for compromise!!

2008-10-01T02:03:00.000-07:00

A for Apple & C for Cat, seems to outdated and the new mantra is all about A for adjustment and C for Cat, adjustment as the dictionary meaning goes (Verb) means to adapt to the new or different environment and compromise means something accepted rather than wanted!! The process of adapting and compromising has turned into a lifestyle these days. It is rather funny to see that none of us, including me are leading our lives at our own terms, each thing we do and most importantly we don't do is because we need to adjust with and compromise for a few things in life!!

I am not for a minute talking about Utopia, i am talking of the real world around each of us. Adjustments and compromises are no doubt necessary for a healthy living and co-habitation, it makes life simpler and easier, but the big Question that arises is how much of it and at what cost should it come.

Trivial issues should definitely not matter, but adjustments and compromises at the cost of once's life, personal goals, principles are very unhealthy. Further adjusting all the time turns out to be a bad habit in itself, it kills the individuals capacity to voice his opinion..it sets wrong example for others too..Who is to gauge the extent of adjustment and compromise required??

As an individual we must learn to draw a line and stick to the stand that beyond this i shall not compromise and i shall not budge beyond a certain point, at the same time we must develop respect for other individuals and their respective boundaries too. This is essential because most of the time adjustments and compromises are involuntary in nature, they happen because they are inevitable, individuals are coerced emotionally, financially and also morally into it. If they were to happen voluntarily, then they would not be termed as adjustment and compromise, rite?

It is very important for us to learn to understand and respect people for what they are, we need to accept them without riders. Once we learn to do that, life becomes easier for all, mutual respect and regard for another individual's space is the key to a non-compromising life..or rather happy adjustments and a little compromise!!

poem on motherhood

2008-09-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

A beautiful poem written by an unknown poet, go ahead .. and enjoy!!

Before I was a mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a mom…
I slept as late as I wanted on weekends
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
Before I was a mom…
I cleaned the house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a mom…
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about childhood diseases.
Before I was a mom…
I had never been puked on-Pooped on-Spit on-Chewed on-Peed on-
Or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a mom…
I had complete control of my mind,
My thoughts,
My body.
I slept all night.
Before I was a mom…
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a mom.
Before I was a mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known,
The warmth-The joy-The love-The heartache-The wonderment-Or the satisfaction of being a mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a mom.

SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

2008-08-22T01:42:00.000-07:00

Every time I visit a restaurant I end up seeing things which further strengthens my determination that I must not be frequenting this hotel again.
After placing the order, I generally have the habit of looking at folks who have occupied the other tables and inevitably my eyes get stuck on a cute little kiddo who is so excited of being in a hotel.
The kid is oblivious of its surroundings and is busy rattling its wishlist to his mommy, starting of from ice cream to pizza to dosa...., however what really grabs my attention is the child's hands. The child is so impatient and it has no mind to wait for the food to arrive ( so are we most of the time...) so the child first coyly picks up the forks and spoons on the table and start fidgeting with it.
Then with some boldness, it the turn of the bunch of straws that are kept on the table, the child very religiously picks up each and every straw and puts the same in its mouth. After ensuring that each of them are loaded with sufficient saliva the kiddo places them on the table... mind you on the table .....
Hey it does not stop here. The annoying act is yet to come and what adds to my irritation is not what the kid does, but what the mother does, who is otherwise busy chatting on the phone does. After giving the child a threatening look, she picks each and every straw, but wait a minute, she does something more childish that what the kid just did.
She places all of them back in the orginal glass where they were kept and gives herself a big smile for exhibiting her origamy skills.
Their order arrives and they gorge on it and leave the table after much fanfare.
The story does not end here.... Just as they are leaving a set of people arrive and directly head towards the same table which appears to clean but little do they know that the same set of straws are still donning the table.
The kid cannot be blamed but the parents.... they never get tired of bragging about their skills in parenting.. but what about learning some social responsibility themselves and thereafter teaching their kids ...

All about FATHERHOOD!!

2008-08-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

The reason for this post is two fold, firstly after reading my previous post about my daughter, my friends wanted me to pen something more and secondly my husband ( my better half !!) on reading my previous article had very innocently asked me, 'How come your article has no reference to me?

That is when i decided to write something for my soul mate!! being madly in love with him, it is very difficult for me stop bragging about him as my husband, but i have resolved not to let it shadow my article on his FATHERHOOD!!

I can very proudly state that my husband does not fall in the normal category of a usual father!! Right from the day we realised that we are going to be blessed with an angel, he has been a great support. It may sound comical but it is true, except for that fact that i had the pregnancy bump, Ashe( as i fondly call him!) was also carrying in the virtual sense!! There was no single visit to the gynac, no single test, scan in his absence. Even for my fasting sugar blood test, he was fasting!! He had made up his mind that he will enjoy each and every day of this journey.

Pursuant to our daughter's birth, ashe has changed completely.. ayushi is the center of his life!! thought she means the same to me, ashe cannot look beyond his daughter.. there is no chores of ayushi that he deters from doing.. right from cleaning her potty, changing her diapers.. feeding her, talking her for walks, you name it and he does it!! I am glad that he does not belong to the catergory of chauvanistic men, who think doing these things are so unmanly!

There are nights when ayushi decides not to sleep ( like last nite) and as usual he takes over, sings a lullaby to her and puts her to sleep.... singing a lullaby and putting a baby to sleep may sound very simple right!?? well Ahas her own speciality in this also.. the usual norm about her is that she may take anywhere between 3-4 hrs to go to bed. These 3-4hrs are spent singing.. and swinging her cradle..that is definitely not an easy task, atleast at 2.00 AM after hectic day rite?? More so, Ashe is back from office only at 11.00 PM!! Since both of us are working, the kind of co-operation i receive from him is amazing.

What amazes me about Ashe is his ability and the ease in which he dons the role of a father, i have known him for almost a decade now, his sensitivity and the bonding he shares with Ayushi is truly heartwarming.. to be precise, both of them don't want to miss out on each other and make the best out of little time they get for each other..
People may be thinking that all fathers care for their little ones, so whats the big deal with Ashe?? The big deal is that he does things which men presume that women alone must be doing.. he is always willing to learn new things for Ayushi... he is not a man who calls out the women at home when the baby cries or when the diapers are soiled!! Trust me when i say this i trust my daughter with him more than anyone else at home.. he just know when to feed her, how to keep her happy ..and most importantly Ayushu too prefers her dad and she simply loves him..the smile on her face at the sight of her poppy is amazing..!

Honestly Ashe keeps my Ayushi( rather 'our' Ayushi- Ashe hates it when i say 'my' ayushi!) always pepped up and i am glad she has a father like this .... hey POPPY you are great !! :-)

MY ANGEL!

2008-08-13T04:22:00.000-07:00

The word 'my angel' connotes- the messenger of god to me!! truly Ayushi has been the angel in my life. From the day i knew she was coming i had this strong feeling that she is a magical and is vested with miraculous power to heal. I am not an atheist, but my belief in God has never been very strong. Something about her presence made me connect more to God. I could feel the presence of God around me.
As i was gearing up for her arrival, troubles started pouring in. I was on and off the hospital for some or the other reason. The journey seemed very tiring, each visit to the doctor was filled with apprehension. The problems were never life threatening, but the entire ordeal was mentally exhausting. All my energy was dried up. But her presence in me was driving me to be cheerful. All i had to do was to call her out and she would in her own sweet way reassure me that things are going to be fine. She was there for me all the time.

My eagerness to see her started to grow by leaps and bounds. As each day passed I was growing impatient to see her. I would often request her to arrive soon, but she paid no heed to my request. She had secretly decided the date of her arrival. She was keen on proving my guesswork about her arrival wrong.

On Thursday night, suddenly my blood pressure shot up and i had bouts of anxiety, my sixth sense told me that she was coming home. But i was not willing to believe it. I presumed that she may take some more days to arrive. I was completely wrong. That night i went into labour, i realised that more than the excitement i was petrified. I was sweating in the winter night!! i was screaming my lungs out and courtesy Internet, the gory pictures of child birth came rushing into my mind!! i was trembling out of fear. I could not believe that this was me.

Suddenly a miracle happened!! i realised that this is the day i was waiting for all along and this is the day for Ayushi's arrival and here i am with so much of fear!! The excruciating pain within me just disappeared. The darkness around seem to get brighter. I saw a misty picture of ayushi emerging. Slowly my vision became clearer. Reality surprised me!! Ayushi was right there! i could not believe it!! My angel was just a few steps away from me. I wanted to hold her, embrace her in my arms... i realised she was all mine, she was a part of me!!
Unknowingly she has made me realise the truth that only God makes us and we mothers are the modes of bringing these angels on earth.....
The wait was over my darling, my angel... had arrived..